Safety Tips – for Meeting a Online Dating Site Mate

Online dating sites have become hugely popular, with global annual usage figures into the hundreds of millions. The convenience of organizing ones love-life from a home PC, combined with a reassuring level of anonymity, have made online dating sites a socially acceptable, viable lifestyle choice when it comes to seeking out a new partner.

online dating tips

Emails and chat messages do not convey body language, or inflexions of speech, and it is possible to obtain a very erroneous understanding of the person you’re conversing with if that person is deliberately misleading you.

There are warning signs to watch for before any meeting takes place, and there are sensible precautions which can reduce the risk of such a meeting to virtually nil.

The biggest area of online dating sites crime is fraud – money scams. No matter what circumstances the person claims to be in, any mention of a loan, or handout, from someone you barely know, is highly likely to be the request of a scam artist. Even though there is a chance that such a person could be genuinely desperate and in a tragic situation, majority of such cases should be treated by ending the correspondence.

One of the biggest irritants of the online dating is spam. If someone sends a first-time private message asking for your email address, or otherwise seems unusually eager to gain this information, the chances are they’re connected with marketing – this person/company will have lists of email addresses, and be selling them off in bulk to rival companies. Giving such a person your details will lead to an inbox full of dating related spam. Easy enough to counter – keep your email to yourself until you know a little more about who you’re dealing with.

In the world of online dating, there is a certain amount of misrepresentation that goes on. This ranges from little white lies about age, through ridiculous claims about height and fitness (which are obviously going to be uncovered at the first meeting, but people still do it), and on into more serious matters, like lying about marital status. For some seekers of romance, this might not be a problem, but for others who are genuinely looking to develop a one-on-one relationship, finding out further down the line that they’re not No1 in their new partner’s life might come as a shock. MSNBC research has shown that around one third of all online dating service users are married. It is some comfort to know that there are usually tell-tale signs: a married person, who is deliberately keeping that status secret, will act in a way that indicates they are covering something up.

And finally, the least likely occurrence, but the biggest threat: dangerous individuals. Like with the money situation, every online dating mate whom you meet face-to-face should be treated the same – meet only in a public place, preferably with people you know present. Some people seeking a dating with you will have a natural aversion to meeting up in too much of a hectic environment – fears perhaps of not being able to get in on conversations between old friends, or fears over the possibility of sniping from a secret admirer or venomous ex.

However, any sane online dating mate will agree to meet in a public place, and anyone who pushes for a private meeting is being creepy – that’s the big warning sign, and the one to be taken care or to be acted wisely.


The Commercialization of Dating

According to, the dating industry is a $1billion dollar market, consisting of 850 date sites in 2005 alone. From the beginning of the decade industry revenues increased year over year by 70% but slowed down by 10% in 2006 to $649 million,and the industry is projected to grow by 8% until 2011, according to Jupiter Research. On average most sites charge about $35 dollars a month. has 1.3 million members, and earned $350 million dollars in 2007. The other major player in the industry is eHarmony.The company generates annual revenues of $200 million dollars with a 30% yearly growth rate, has 17 million members, 230 employees, and produces about 90 marriages a day that have so far added 100,000 children to the population, courtesy of


The cost of dating extends beyond the date sites, indirect costs of dating such as money spent on dinners, contraceptives, and extra money spent on gas to drive to meet with a date, can accumulate, increasing the cost of dating beyond the $35 dollars a month one spends on the membership. One friend of mine who dated quite often told me he had to cut back on dating, because paying for dinners ended up costing him between $100-$200 dollars a week. He also mentioned, sometimes he would spend up to $200 dollars on one date alone.

Dating is a lucrative business that may be recession proof. Even in economic downturns people will continue to search for love. Although the growth of the dating industry is slowing down, this does not indicate people will stop searching for love, especially dealing with date sites. If people are returning to more traditional avenues of meeting someone, such as bars, date sites may have to start forming partnerships with bars to sustain or increase their membership base. Advertising on bar menus and sponsoring single’s nights may be coming soon.

Date sites are businesses that sell memberships to people searching for love, or just people looking to improve their social life, by meeting someone new. In selling memberships there is advertising, and advertising may lead to false impressions. eHarmony for example, admittedly is rather methodical in its approach to matchmaking and 90 marriages a day stands as testimony that they may be doing something right. However, the impression provided by the commercials, is that eHarmony is the site to go to if one wishes to seriously meet someone for a long term relationship. The questionnaire potential eHarmony members must fill out is lengthy and takes about 15-30 minutes to complete.The 436 item questionnaire includes, questions about one’s sexuality, activity level, and religious preferences. According to, eHarmony rejects less then %10 of its prospective members, and that includes people who have been married four or more times,and those who are in their early twenties.

Speaking from experience, after about 30 minutes of careful reading, my application was rejected, because eHarmony could not find a match for me. I felt disappointed as I asked myself, ” How could this be?” ” I thought they had a good way of matching people up? ” Although eHarmony is successful in producing marriages, one is likely to say the advertising is misleading after spending 15-30 minutes filling out an application only to be rejected. I also signed up with, and after emailing about about 20 people, with no response, after a while I stopped checking the site. About 5 members emailed me, 1 of them was 50 years old, and 4 out of the 5 lived out of state. One appeared to be spam, but I sent an email to her anyways because she lived in Tampa, Fl. There was one member who left her phone number. I called her, and I left a message, but she never called me back.

Besides the date sites, there are books about dating that add to the commercialization of dating. These books provide tips and dating philosophies enabling one to perform well on dates. Dating from this method is reduced to perspectives. Consider this site’s perspective on dating for example. has a link, “Best Conversation Topics For Dates”, that outlines how to converse with women on dates.The author of the site, David Deangelo mentions, making fun of celebrities, and other people on dates, are good conversation topics that could inject humor into the situation. This method may have worked for Deangelo, but not for others. Some suggest simple conversations about life ,movies, and work are good enough to keep things interesting.

With all the advertisements about dating, some may feel that they have to date, and that being single is problematic. My close friends date heavily and they do not like being alone for too long. This may be due to basic loneliness that is not all related to the advertisements, but being reminded through advertisement that someone is out there waiting for you can be quite burdensome, especially if a person does not like being alone. However, these companies cannot stop advertising because people feel pressured to date. Finding someone takes time. Many seeking love have to date quite a number of people before they eventually meet someone as a life long companion.

Parenting the Interracial Child: Interracial Dating

Mom and dad are from different ethnic backgrounds and races. They have persevered through life’s and society’s ups and downs, approvals and disapproval’s. When the interracial child of this union enters into the dating world, it is inevitable that they will find a partner that is also of a different race. Immediately mom and dad are comfortable with the situation? Not all of the time. Sometimes parents find themselves in an uncomfortable situation because an interracial child chooses someone the parent would never choose.


Judgments Need to Stop at Hello

As interracial parents, both partners will be wise about the impact of interracial dating on society’s outlook, but that does not mean the first reaction to an interracial relationship is not one of awe from a parent. Take a Caucasian mother and African American father into consideration. An interracial daughter may choose to date a Caucasian boy. Mom is the only standing on the outside looking in. Personal preference led her into the interracial relationship and she may not understand why her daughter is choosing the person she has chosen, but judgments need to stop at, “Hello.” An open mind is the best mind to approach interracial dating with from the start – especially with biracial or multiracial children.

Talk With Interracial Children About How Others May React

Parents of interracial children need to remember they have been living the “out in front” lifestyle for years. Children are not as apt to understand why people stare, snicker or make remarks. It is best to discuss these potential reactions with a child as soon as they are old enough to start dating. Parents of interracial children may get the standard, “I know and I don’t care what others think of who I date”, but at lease children know parents are there to talk if (and in most cases when) society gets under the skin.

Open Up about Past Experiences

Another huge benefit to interracial children who are dating outside their race is the past experiences a parent may have. Just because things seem accepted today, does not mean there will be no confrontations. If parents of interracial children talk about past confrontations they have experienced and the best means of making it through emotionally and physically, children may be better prepared for life ahead with an open mind and heart.

Life parenting an interracial child is bound to be full of ups and downs. Parents who tackle interracial dating head on with no expectations in mind, everyone will feel better about dating choices in the end.

Sanctioned Racism: Contempt for Interracial Relationships

Would you tell this half black, half white girl that you don’t believe in interracial marriages? Would you admit that the thought of your offspring dating someone of another race makes you nauseous?

Does the thought of your baby girl bringing home a black man make you cringe? If so, would you tell me?

Would you tell this half black, half white girl that you don’t believe in interracial marriages? Would you admit that the thought of your offspring dating someone of another race makes you nauseous?

As a black girl growing up in an all-white, dusty California town, I heard it more than once: “I’d date you, but my parents just don’t believe in interracial relationships.” At the time, too young to understand the implications of such a statement, I would nod my head, reassuring my friend that I understood and wasn’t upset.

It wasn’t until years later, that I understood what my friend’s parents really meant by that statement.

Here in America, you would be hard pressed to find a white person who would use the “N” word, at least in front of a black person. Incredibly though, many in this country have little problem admitting that either they, or their parents, have issues with interracial dating. These individuals will often accompany their belief with a disclaimer stating that either they, or their parents, are not racists. They might talk about the diverse friends that they have, or how interested in other cultures they are. They might even defend their parents by describing how “warm” or “nice” they are. Occasionally, though, these individuals will give an honest assessment, and admit that it isn’t so much that their parents are old-fashioned, but that they are either blatantly racist, or sadly ignorant.

Where does this socially accepted aversion come from?

It isn’t just whites that loathe mixing their lineage. Blacks and other races feel the same way. These people often feel “betrayed” when one of their own dips outside of sanctioned territory. They label them “traitors”, making great assumptions about the type of people they are: “Black men that date white women are intimated by women of color.” or “White women are easy.”

Others are threatened. White men are often challenged by angry black men for dating one “not” of their own. Ironically, half of the time, these black men are also guilty of dating outside their race.

So why do people do this? More importantly though, why do we accept this not so subtle racism?

“People fear what they don’t know.”

Man, that phrase is getting old. More likely, people fear what they have ignorantly made assumptions about. People don’t want their white daughter dating a black man because they believe black men are deadbeats and will cheat on her. People don’t want their white son dating a black girl because “what will people think?”

What all of these ignorant fools don’t seem to understand is that the success of their child’s union with another is not determined by what race they are, but by the values and morals they both share. What these bigots also don’t seem to comprehend is that anytime a family merges with another, regardless of race, there are going to be differences, oftentimes great. Instead of sheltering their children from dating outside of their race, they should be ensuring their child knows how to choose a valuable partner. That is what will ensure a happy and successful union.

Perhaps then we can rid America of this blatant racism.

Top 4 Reasons Why Men & Women Choose Online Dating

Some people date online in an attempt to save money. Many websites offer free basic services and low-cost subscriptions to their database of singles. Therefore, several months of online dating can cost less than a few dinners at popular restaurants.

It is a Cheaper Route

Some people date online in an attempt to save money. Many websites offer free basic services and low-cost subscriptions to their database of singles. Therefore, several months of online dating can cost less than a few dinners at popular restaurants. This means a lot to people who are on a tight budget or living on low income. While it may not be the majority, financial budgeting surely plays a part in online dating.

Choose Online Dating

Love from Afar

Depending on where they live, some men and women have probably dated nearly every candidate in their town. That Sex and The City TV show was not pure fiction. Sarah Jessica Parker and her friends must dated dozens of men. Their lifestyles represent many women and men in real life. People who are dating numerous people locally can get to appoint where they run out of appealing options.

This is where online dating comes into the picture. Men and women have the ability to find mates in other towns. This may or may not be the perfect scenario. However, it is an option that would not be readily available otherwise. Everyone may not desire a long distance relationship. Online dating still gives men and women access to potential mates outside of their local area. That means that they have a chance to find love, even if it is far away.

Desperate for Love

I would not recommend online dating for various reasons. However, people do participate in this form of courtship for reasons of their own. Desperation falls among these motives for men and women who choose online dating. They may deny it, but some people who date online are desperate to find a significant other. This desperation may have been developed from failed relationships or fear of always being single.

Many online dating websites market themselves as a one-stop shop for finding love. These websites make it seem like you can create an account and find someone instantly. Desperate men and women seek out such instant connections. That is why they choose online dating. However, instant love connections are unrealistic.

Less Demand for Commitment

People who date online do not have to continue their cyber relationships. That is another reason why online dating appeals to many women and men. Those who want to date multiple people can do so without dealing with drama and trouble that may result from this behavior. Men and women who are not interested in being in a committed relationship have no obligation to maintain one online. It is much easier for people to end a cyber relationship than one in real life.